In the Faces of the Laughing, Crying and Dying
I have spent the past few days with a contemporary Christian musician, his family and his band. I became friends with him and his family several years ago, and was able to connect and hang out with them all this past Thursday and Friday while they were in Paris to perform a show as part of their European tour. I went and met them Thursday evening before the concert and then spent the day with them on Friday. Friday happened to be this mans’ birthday, so we all went to a nice little café next to Notre Dame Cathedral for a birthday lunch, and then afterwards spent some time seeing the sights in Paris. It was great to spend the day catching up with them, as it had been a few years since I saw them last.
However, there is something that came up during the concert that I’m battling with. He sings a song (which was actually written by the late Rich Mullins) entitled “I See You,” and in this song the lyrics to the chorus say “Everywhere I go I see You.” After the song was finished, he told the audience how when he had been driving through the Swiss Alps the day before he had seen God in the scenery. He said that when he crossed over the border from Switzerland to France earlier that day he had seen God. He talked about how he could see God in the faces of many of the thousands of French Christians who were at the show, while they were worshiping the Creator of the universe. I do not doubt these things at all, as I also can see God in these types of people and places.
But there are many times when I can’t see God.
I often times can’t see Him in the face of a young child that is dying from an easily preventable disease, simply because his family can’t afford to purchase the medicine. I often times can’t see Him in the faces of two little girls I know that were raped by a man with AIDS, who they trusted and called “daddy.” I often times can’t see Him in the hungry bodies of malnourished children who I have lived next door to in a refugee camp in Northeastern Africa. I often times can’t see Him in the tears of a woman who is crying because she never had the chance to learn how to read and write, simply because of her sex.
Yes, there are many times when I can’t see God.
However in these horrible situations I have learned that I must trust God is there, and trust in His ultimate sovereignty, for I know that a God small enough to completely understand isn’t big enough to worship. I have peace in knowing that I will never fully be able to understand why so many things are the way they are in this world, and why God allows so much suffering to continue. I have realized that I must choose to continue to follow God and to trust in Him even when I can’t see Him, feel Him, touch Him or hear Him. I am called to trust in His peace, love, goodness and kindness even when I can’t see these things with my earthly eyes. And I strive to do this, although I often times fail.
But with that said, this song still upsets me a bit.
I believe this Christian musician is a very integrous man. I believe that when he stands on a stage in front of 40,000 fans and sings the words “everywhere I go I see You” that he truly means it. This man is one of the all time most popular contemporary Christian musicians, and I do not think that he would sing words to a song that were not true for him in his life. And so I am upset because I can’t say that this is always true in my life, and I desire for it to be.
I long to be able to honestly say to God, everywhere I go I see You.
God help me to have the revelation that my worshiping friend has had, so that I can look into the eyes of the dying and see You, so that I can look into the eyes of the suffering and see You, and so that I can look at that which could possibly even lead me to question Your very existence, and say that I can see You.
Peace,
Matthew Pascal
However, there is something that came up during the concert that I’m battling with. He sings a song (which was actually written by the late Rich Mullins) entitled “I See You,” and in this song the lyrics to the chorus say “Everywhere I go I see You.” After the song was finished, he told the audience how when he had been driving through the Swiss Alps the day before he had seen God in the scenery. He said that when he crossed over the border from Switzerland to France earlier that day he had seen God. He talked about how he could see God in the faces of many of the thousands of French Christians who were at the show, while they were worshiping the Creator of the universe. I do not doubt these things at all, as I also can see God in these types of people and places.
But there are many times when I can’t see God.
I often times can’t see Him in the face of a young child that is dying from an easily preventable disease, simply because his family can’t afford to purchase the medicine. I often times can’t see Him in the faces of two little girls I know that were raped by a man with AIDS, who they trusted and called “daddy.” I often times can’t see Him in the hungry bodies of malnourished children who I have lived next door to in a refugee camp in Northeastern Africa. I often times can’t see Him in the tears of a woman who is crying because she never had the chance to learn how to read and write, simply because of her sex.
Yes, there are many times when I can’t see God.
However in these horrible situations I have learned that I must trust God is there, and trust in His ultimate sovereignty, for I know that a God small enough to completely understand isn’t big enough to worship. I have peace in knowing that I will never fully be able to understand why so many things are the way they are in this world, and why God allows so much suffering to continue. I have realized that I must choose to continue to follow God and to trust in Him even when I can’t see Him, feel Him, touch Him or hear Him. I am called to trust in His peace, love, goodness and kindness even when I can’t see these things with my earthly eyes. And I strive to do this, although I often times fail.
But with that said, this song still upsets me a bit.
I believe this Christian musician is a very integrous man. I believe that when he stands on a stage in front of 40,000 fans and sings the words “everywhere I go I see You” that he truly means it. This man is one of the all time most popular contemporary Christian musicians, and I do not think that he would sing words to a song that were not true for him in his life. And so I am upset because I can’t say that this is always true in my life, and I desire for it to be.
I long to be able to honestly say to God, everywhere I go I see You.
God help me to have the revelation that my worshiping friend has had, so that I can look into the eyes of the dying and see You, so that I can look into the eyes of the suffering and see You, and so that I can look at that which could possibly even lead me to question Your very existence, and say that I can see You.
Peace,
Matthew Pascal
posted by Matthew Pascal @ 12:37 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I regularly think about these things and struggle with these things. One piece of scripture that I really hold on to in the midst of these kind of thoughts is The Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:1-11). I feel like in these verses almost more than anywhere we see how backwards the kingdom of God is...or really how backwards our world is. When I read, "blessed are the poor in spirit, blessed are those who mourn, blessed are the meek," and so on and so on, I can't help but see that the ways my eyes see people and the world isn't necessarily the way the world works. Maybe God is most real and present with all those hurting people you described. Maybe we should see him more in the face of these hungry children than in the Alps. My interpretation of this scripture could be wrong, but in the midst of really hard stuff it has been a huge comfort to me.
Meghan - thanks for your comment. I agree that often times God is the most real and present in the hurting people, who we normally pass by without even offering a hint of lip service to. We live in an upside down world, and that's for sure. However my problem is that I sometimes struggle to see God in these people. I know that He is there, but sometimes I just can't seem to see Him, and I want to. I want to be able to look into the eyes of the suffering, broken, hurting and dying and say, "hello Jesus..."
Oftentimes it is after we have been dirtied and scarred ourselves do we notice God in a situation, not before, and then, it seems, we notice God in ourselves as well. Many try to see God and then get involved, or let the sight of God be thier only involvement whatsoever. I think it is great to be able to look at the trees, the mountains, and lakes, the oceans, and see God. What a wonderful life this would be, to see all of the beautiful things of the world and then to sing and speak of them in front of 40,000 people who adore you. This should not be the goal of Christians who seek to "experience" God. Rather, read of the life, especially before her worldwide fame, of Mother Theresa. Notice how she never had a picture taken in which her hands were not filthy and scarred, her eyes not brimming with compassion, and her thoughts on some nameless face who needed a touch of love and grace. Her goal was not to see God but to serve Him. It is the martyrs who are most honored among the Saints, those that give without concern for recieving in this world. Sometimes the desire to see God in something is to desire an earthly reward. There are some things that we will never see and sometimes God in a certain situation is one of them. "Now we see as in a mirror dimly, BUT then we shall see face to face".
Austin
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